Are you excited?

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder", or so the saying goes.
Over the course of the last couple of years, several families in my church have moved far enough away they don't attend our house of worship anymore. I miss each of them dearly. Imagine how I felt when one couple moved back last month. I ran into them in the grocery store this week, and I felt my body sigh, as if all were right with the world.
The absence of another couple affected our community, as they owned two businesses in our town. Two shuttered buildings. Two empty seats on Sunday morning. A void in many hearts.
I had begun to grow close to the wife, and felt our friendship deepening as they prepared to move. So, I made plans to go visit them in New Hampshire in the spring. Four months away. I grew very excited when she texted back that they couldn't wait. Neither can I!
As I went into work that morning, after making "level 1" plans, I realized something...
We Christians are all on a journey with a far more glorious destination than New Hampshire. Our destination is all-expenses paid, one-way, for eternity, with housing on streets of gold and constant joy and hope and peace.
As excited as I am to visit Ken and Sabrina, I should live EVERY DAY in so much more excitement to see my Savior.
As excited as I am to see New England in the spring, I should be that much more excited to see the new heaven and the new earth.
So, I can't wait... for April, but, even more so, for eternity.

Cherished

I had a conversation today with a friend. She has met several men on an online dating site, and we talked about her various adventures and conversations. Another friend is in the "hanging out" phase with some one. And, I'm seeing mutual interest between two other friends.

All of this has me thinking about my place as a single woman. What it would be like to be romanced, to have a man show interest in the things that I enjoy, to be held, cherished, valued, loved.

Then, I received an email with a link to a blog post. I can't read it without crying, because it is true. The post reminded me of this, and to this I will cling: I AM romanced, by the great Romancer. I DO have a man who cares about the things that interest me, for He gave me those interests. He holds me, weeps with me, laughs with me. He cherishes me and places infinite value in me. Only He truly loves me, enough to create me, to breathe live into me, to sustain me. Only He would die for me. This is, and has to be, enough.

Yes, I get lonely. I shed a lot of tears no one here sees. I look at married friends with envy, yet I realize they probably see my life the same way sometimes. I admit, there are days when this path of singleness seems too long and hard. But, I'm learning, as in any relationship, to cherish and love the One I am with more and more each day.
This relationship shall never end. Nothing can separate me from the One I love.

Take heart, single friends. The God who created the universe knows you, and loves you, more intimately than anyone here on Earth could. He knows when you hurt, when you fail, when you shout for joy, and when you succeed. And, He loves you more than anything He created.

Contentment

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things thorugh him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13 ESV

"Is it possible to be content and not like the situation?" I have often struggled with this question, and the other day, I realized why. I had been confusing contentment with happiness. I wanted to feel HAPPY all the time, but present circumstances were preventing that. In the process, I had become jealous, selfish, bitter, and resentful. I doubted that God had anything good for me, because I didn't have what I wanted. I thought that if I had a husband, children, a better job, or my own place to live, that I would be satisfied. I thought that if that person (or people) would just include me sometimes, or call or email just to say "hi", that I would be accepted and loved.
Then, one day, as I was sitting at a local park, I realized something: I felt a peace I hadn't felt in a long time; I was relaxed; I didn't feel the weight of depression. I was content. My situation has not changed; I'm still (hopelessly) single, without children, living with my mother, and broke. What had changed was my heart. Through some godly counsel with a couple of pastors, some heart-to-hearts with friends, and thorugh writing in different forms, I have become aware (again!) of God's great love for me, His acceptance, His peace.
Paul had learned to be content, and his situation was far from ideal. After traveling for years, spreading the Gospel to Gentiles scattered throughout the Roman empire, he now was confined to house arrest, waiting for the execution he knew was imminent. He was nearly blind, and had a nagging "thorn in his flesh" that was a constant reminder of his need for Savior. And yet, he was content; I can be content. God has given me all I need to be content in Him.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Father, I admit my shortcomings, my discontentment with what You have given me. I long to be like Paul, who had learned contentment dispite imprisonment and need; to be like James, who considered it joy to face trials. I cannot be perfect, yet You sent Your Son to be perfect for me,  that I may be made perfect in Your sight. What a mystery, that this selfish, jealous person could be perfect--and what a blessing that causes me to rejoice. This day,  Lord, I say, I will be content in Your presence, in Your provision,  in Your promises.

Where are you struggling today? In what areas are you missing contentment? How are you striving for something that is already available? Lift these areas to the One who offers contentment, peace, and joy. Allow Him to bring you to that place, and linger there with Him.

It's new!!

Yes,  it's been six months since I posted last; a long six months of reflection and realignment (okay, maybe "reflection and realignment" are too nice... it's actually been pretty ugly. And by "it", I mean "me".). It was not a pretty six months, so I won't go into a lot of detail, but wanted to share something that God showed me recently. So often,  we Christians fall into the pattern of telling what WE were in the past, and never tell what GOD is doing in the present. So, this blog, I hope, will be more about HIM and what HE is doing, than about me and I have done.

A love story

I'm not a big fan of love stories. I'm too much of a realist to enjoy sappy endings and predictable plots that come with romantic comedy movies and brain-candy books. You know, boy and girl meet under anger-inducing circumstances, they avoid each other and realize they need each other, and so it goes. I want to cry... get a plot!
The last two weeks though, I have read a fantastic love story played out in a hospital room. The story begins long before then, however. The plot involves a couple who were blessed to become parents to a little girl just over two weeks ago. During the birth, however, serious complications arose and the mother's (Dara) life was at risk. As a matter of fact, the particular complication is so rare that most doctors will never encounter it, and so serious the mortality rate is around 80%. Hundreds of people around the world have gathered on their knees to interecede for this couple and their new daughter. I've seen posts from Japan, heard of people praying in Germany and El Salvador; Watseka, IL and Morenci, AZ.
Here's the "love story": throughout all this uncertainity, David has consistently gone to the Father. David loves Dara, but she is not his primary love. (She's good with that, by the way!) David's primary love is for His Father, the One who creates life itself. David knows that God's love does not change. He knows that had God not created a miracle (which He did) and saved Dara's life, God still loves him and cares for him. David's love and commitment to God first has been an encouragement to so many. Because he realizes God's love, he is able to love his wife, no matter the outcome of this situation. Because he realizes God's love, he can love and care for his daughter, raising her to become a woman who loves God first.
The end of the story has been written. Because of David and Dara's love for God and realization that Jesus Christ has forgiven them, they will live eternally. In the end, Jesus wins. And that is what makes this love story so inspiring. David knows that no matter the outcome, Jesus has won. The love story, you see, isn't one between David and Dara (though that is a good story, too). It's not about David and Dara and their daughter and hundreds of prayer warriors. The true love story is one of a loving God desiring His people to come to Him so much that He sent His Son to be victorious for us.
By the way, God has been working a miraculous healing in Dara. She has been walking and is growing stronger each day. There are still some health issues, some therapy. But, I am praising God for her recovery.
Want to help David and Dara? There is a cookie walk Dec. 10 at Trinity-Watseka. All proceeds will go to help with medical expenses. Donations will be accepted, as well. More info will be posted on Facebook soon.

I have an amazing opportunity every week. I get to (literally) set the stage for 125 or so people to worship our God. Our multi-site meets in an old elementary school about 20 miles from my home. Thirty minutes into the process, the large middle screen is up and audio gear is out of storage. An hour into it, and the stage is up, lights are on and being set, and audio is well on its way to being done. 90 minutes, beginning to end, and a small gymnasium becomes a place worship. We have a great crew of men and women who dedicate this time each week, and they rock!
There is a process that occurs each and every time we do this--the screen is set while audio gear is hauled from the practice/storage rooms, the stage goes up while lights are set. Audio goes on-stage as platforms are put up. Stage is set while chairs are put out and projectors aimed. Soundboard is programmed while final tweaks occur with lights and projectors.
While we have gotten into a smooth rhythm, but it took a while, and there is still a process. The gym doesn't become a worship center by doing the work itself.
The same is true with our spiritual lives. We cannot transform ourselves into "holier" people without the work of the Holy Spirit. HE must set the stage. He must reveal those things which need repair or removal. HE must work in us. And, we must let Him. I posted this earlier:

But the good news is this: while our refining is an on-going process, the end result is someone beautiful, someone pure, someone who has been made holy and can worship IN THE PRESENCE of a holy God. The God who created us, knowing we would struggle, stumble, and sin. The perfect God who sent His perfect Son to redeem an imperfect people. The loving God who gives us the Holy Spirit as our refiner.

Father, I thank You that You use this imperfect person to reach an imperfect world with Your perfect love and forgiveness. Help me to remember that Your work of perfecting me will not be comlete on this earth. Help me to not be frustrated when I don't get it right, but to instead trust in You every step of the way.

Before time

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob; he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. Isaiah 43:1,2 ESV, emphasis mine

I came across this gem the other day. I've been in a season of refining and pruning. I've been beaten by the enemy, and though I am bruised and scarred, I am not defeated.
Back to our passage. I read this on a day full of confusion and self-doubt. God used His word here to remind me to whom I really belong. I reread this passage today, and something else stood out. God is telling His people, 700 years before Christ, that He HAS redeemed them. The redemption, the salvation, of His people had been His plan all along. The ultimate sacrifice had not yet been made, but the resulting redemption was complete.
Have I failed as a friend, a sister, a daughter? Have you missed the mark as a wife, a mother, an employee, a supervisor? Have you been wounded by the words or actions of others? Have you done the wounding? I can answer "yes" to many of these. Today, even. But the good news is, Christ has completed our redemption, even before time began, He says to us, "I HAVE redeemed you," no matter what, He loves us. He is FOR us.

Father God, Creator of all that is, and the One who formed me, I stand in awe that, even before You created time, you had MY redemption in mind. You knew my failures before I was created, and yet You chose to form me anyway. God, take my short-comings and my failures, and use them to grow me. Take my wounds and use them to make something beautiful. My life is Yours, God.