Cherished

I had a conversation today with a friend. She has met several men on an online dating site, and we talked about her various adventures and conversations. Another friend is in the "hanging out" phase with some one. And, I'm seeing mutual interest between two other friends.

All of this has me thinking about my place as a single woman. What it would be like to be romanced, to have a man show interest in the things that I enjoy, to be held, cherished, valued, loved.

Then, I received an email with a link to a blog post. I can't read it without crying, because it is true. The post reminded me of this, and to this I will cling: I AM romanced, by the great Romancer. I DO have a man who cares about the things that interest me, for He gave me those interests. He holds me, weeps with me, laughs with me. He cherishes me and places infinite value in me. Only He truly loves me, enough to create me, to breathe live into me, to sustain me. Only He would die for me. This is, and has to be, enough.

Yes, I get lonely. I shed a lot of tears no one here sees. I look at married friends with envy, yet I realize they probably see my life the same way sometimes. I admit, there are days when this path of singleness seems too long and hard. But, I'm learning, as in any relationship, to cherish and love the One I am with more and more each day.
This relationship shall never end. Nothing can separate me from the One I love.

Take heart, single friends. The God who created the universe knows you, and loves you, more intimately than anyone here on Earth could. He knows when you hurt, when you fail, when you shout for joy, and when you succeed. And, He loves you more than anything He created.

Contentment

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things thorugh him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13 ESV

"Is it possible to be content and not like the situation?" I have often struggled with this question, and the other day, I realized why. I had been confusing contentment with happiness. I wanted to feel HAPPY all the time, but present circumstances were preventing that. In the process, I had become jealous, selfish, bitter, and resentful. I doubted that God had anything good for me, because I didn't have what I wanted. I thought that if I had a husband, children, a better job, or my own place to live, that I would be satisfied. I thought that if that person (or people) would just include me sometimes, or call or email just to say "hi", that I would be accepted and loved.
Then, one day, as I was sitting at a local park, I realized something: I felt a peace I hadn't felt in a long time; I was relaxed; I didn't feel the weight of depression. I was content. My situation has not changed; I'm still (hopelessly) single, without children, living with my mother, and broke. What had changed was my heart. Through some godly counsel with a couple of pastors, some heart-to-hearts with friends, and thorugh writing in different forms, I have become aware (again!) of God's great love for me, His acceptance, His peace.
Paul had learned to be content, and his situation was far from ideal. After traveling for years, spreading the Gospel to Gentiles scattered throughout the Roman empire, he now was confined to house arrest, waiting for the execution he knew was imminent. He was nearly blind, and had a nagging "thorn in his flesh" that was a constant reminder of his need for Savior. And yet, he was content; I can be content. God has given me all I need to be content in Him.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Father, I admit my shortcomings, my discontentment with what You have given me. I long to be like Paul, who had learned contentment dispite imprisonment and need; to be like James, who considered it joy to face trials. I cannot be perfect, yet You sent Your Son to be perfect for me,  that I may be made perfect in Your sight. What a mystery, that this selfish, jealous person could be perfect--and what a blessing that causes me to rejoice. This day,  Lord, I say, I will be content in Your presence, in Your provision,  in Your promises.

Where are you struggling today? In what areas are you missing contentment? How are you striving for something that is already available? Lift these areas to the One who offers contentment, peace, and joy. Allow Him to bring you to that place, and linger there with Him.

It's new!!

Yes,  it's been six months since I posted last; a long six months of reflection and realignment (okay, maybe "reflection and realignment" are too nice... it's actually been pretty ugly. And by "it", I mean "me".). It was not a pretty six months, so I won't go into a lot of detail, but wanted to share something that God showed me recently. So often,  we Christians fall into the pattern of telling what WE were in the past, and never tell what GOD is doing in the present. So, this blog, I hope, will be more about HIM and what HE is doing, than about me and I have done.