Where's the Fridge?

I was over at a friend's house the other night, just hanging out and showing off my new hair cut.  This particular family is new to the area and I've only known them about six weeks.  This was the third time I've been to their home.  She offered something to drink, then pointed to the fridge.  "There it is," she said. 
This is not a profound statement.  She was merely pointing out where I could find a bottle of water.  However, I had just, that day, finished a book entitled "Refrigerator Rights."  Think about it.  Of all the people you know--family, friends, co-workers, etc.--with how many do you have refrigerator rights?  In how many homes are you so welcome that you can help yourself to whatever is available, without asking (don't count your own home here)?  I count six--including my brother's home.  Six people that I am so close to, that I can grab a soda or glass of milk without asking or being offered.  One of those is my brother.  Another is a friend with whom I lived for two years, and another is friends I lived with for a few months after a flood.  Not counting them, family and places I've lived, the number of "refrigerator rights" I have decreases by half--to three. 
Refrigerator rights suggest that you have developed a close, intimate relationship with a person.  Close enough that they feel comfortable allowing you into their kitchen, letting you see the crumbs on the counter and dirty dishes in the sink.  Close enough that they have opened the door to the fridge, allowing you to see inside.  This extends to beyond the refrigerator.  They have allowed you to see inside their masks, to see the "real" them.  The 6 a.m.-and-I-don't-really-want-to-be-walking-two-miles-this-morning them; the I'm-really-having-a-crappy-day them.  The I-don't-have-it-together them. 
Close relationships take time to develop.  Unfortunately, those of us forty-ish and under have been raised in the "microwave" culture--I want it NOW.  We don't like to wait, we don't want to put the time and effort into developing anything, especially relationships with people.  I've discovered that of myself.  I meet a new person, determine if I can trust them, then jump right in and want to bare my struggles and weaknesses.  This only presents myself as a complainer and "downer", which pushes people away.  So much for the microwave.  So, I've decided that, with some new relationships I'm developing, that I will back off and allow true closeness develop.  A diamond takes years to form.  Any close relationship is worth the effort and time it needs to develop. 
God created us social beings.  I think when He created Adam and Eve, He meant more than marriage when He  said "it is not good for man to be alone."  We need each other.  I need you, and you need me (and if not me, then someone else), to share life's burdens and joys.

[For more on the concept of refrigerator rights, read Refrigerator Rights by Drs. Will Miller and Glenn Sparks (Willow Creek Publications)]